Inanimate Objects With Faces

I've been slacking for a few days, and I am getting ready to go out of town for a little more than a week, so I bring you this photo-drop.

There are a few things in everyday life that make me smile to myself, and one of those things is fat people on Vespas.  But today, I bring you a different happy thought--- Inanimate objects with faces.

For more cute faces, go to this flickr, or this one, or this one.

<3

My New Favorite Food

Remember last week when I said I wanted to make Giada's Zucchini & Olive Flatbread?   I made it and I will be making it often.  It is so simple and SO delicious.

As a starter, I made some kale chips.  Basically, you tear kale into bite size pieces, coat it in olive oil (I used the salad spinner to get all the extra oil off), sprinkle some salt and bake for 10 minutes at 350.

They are light and crispy, which is awesome.  The taste is unlike anything I've had before though.   They were quite yummy, and they came in handy later.

For the flatbread, I bought a ready made Pillsbury pizza dough.  I have never rolled out pizza dough before, but it seems like I need a little work.  I did try to toss it in the air but that was a joke.

You stab the dough all over with a fork (which is a great way to vent at the dough for being so freaking difficult).  This keeps the dough from rising and turning bready in the oven--- We want it to be crisp.  Then you brush olive oil all over.

Next, I sliced the zucchini and covered the dough completely with it.  It's hard to get the slicely really thin, but I did my best.

At this point you bake it for 20 minutes at 450.
While that was happening, I got all of the other ingredients ready.   Sliced olives, chopped spinach (my own addition), mozzarella and parmesan.   But- oh no!  I forgot oregano.   And that is when I decided to crush the kale chips and use them.  Such a good decision!

After 20 minutes, you take the pizza out and put the olives, spinach, cheeses and "oregano" on it before baking for another 5 minutes.

When all is said and done, you get this gloriousness.

I cannot explain how yummy it is.   It was so good that I had to share it with 4 neighbors so that other people would know how good it was.

I will definitely be making this again!!!

It's Like Summer Camp In Here

So, for about a year I've had this idea in my head to tie-dye a skirt that I love.  The problem with the skirt was that it was white, which is super chic and cute, but I can't keep white clothes clean.  This skirt met it's doom when I decided to sit on the grass and slide (yes) down a hill (I'm a child).

I was walking through the grocery store yesterday when I passed by the RIT dyes and a little lightbulb flickered above my head.  Oh yes, I was finally going to tie-dye my skirt.

My supplies 

This was a lot more difficult with denim than with a t-shirt

 

I ended up throwing a shirt in there for good measure, simply because I have actually tie-dyed a shirt before.  Both of them look awesome as long as I never ever decide to wear them as an outfit.

Canvases Are For Chumps

Today I happened upon two awesome artists with one common link--- They paint people.  And they do it amazingly well.

First up is Alexa Meade, who does "hyper-realistic acrylic body painting".   The best way I can think to describe it is that she makes real life people look like they stepped out of a painting.  I have studied these pictures, and I know they are real and I know how she did it, but my mind still can't comprehend.   How amazing is this?

The next artist is Liu Bolin, also known as The Invisible Man.   He paints himself to blend in with his surroundings.  No camera tricks or photoshop, just one guy who is way too good at what he does.

 

For more photos of their work, click the respective links.

<3 

She's Annoying But She Can Cook

I just watched an episode of Giada At Home, and I simultaneously wanted to punch her in the face and eat up all of her food.  
That woman gets on my last nerve and I can pinpoint why.   She randomly says words with an Italian accent that I am not sure is real.  If you have an Italian accent and you want to pronounce "mozzarella" motz-er-ay-ah, that is fine.  Go be Italian.  Just do it all of the time or none of the time.  And don't even get me started on The Barefoot Contessa...

That being said, I cannot wait to try this recipe for Zucchini and Olive Flatbread.

Ingredients
All-purpose flour, for dusting
1 pound pizza dough
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil plus extra, for drizzling
1 large (8 ounce) zucchini, trimmed and cut into 1/8-inch slices
2 tablespoons chopped fresh oregano leaves, divided
1 1/2 cups (4 ounces) shredded mozzarella
1 cup (2 1/2 ounces) grated Pecorino Romano
1/2 cup pitted sliced black olives
Directions

Place an oven rack in the lower third of the oven. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

On a lightly floured work surface, roll out the dough into a 12-inch circle. With a pastry brush, brush 1 tablespoon of the oil over the dough. Using the tines of a fork, prick the dough all over. Arrange the zucchini slices in a single layer on top of the dough. Drizzle the zucchini with oil. Bake the dough for 18 to 20 minutes until the edges begin to brown. Remove the bread from the oven, sprinkle with 1 tablespoon of oregano, the cheeses, and the olives. Bake for 5 to 7 minutes until the cheeses are melted and bubbly.

Sprinkle the flatbread with the remaining oregano, cut into wedges and serve.


Yum yum yum!

The Purseless Wonder

I'm not a fan of the bar scene.  I love to go out, but I would rather go bowling than go to a bar.  My life is pretty much summed up by this stunningly accurate comic from Fart Party:

Why go out when I can have my own dance party at home in my scrubbies?!

But for those rare occasions that I do find myself in a dimly lit, crowded and noisy atmosphere (can we say "karaoke night"?) I can never figure out what to do with my purse.  There are essentials that every girl needs to have with her, but do you put your purse on the counter?  Hanging from the back of your chair?  What if I want to dance?  I'm not leaving it unattended while I boogie, and I feel silly performing a buzzed rendition of "You Don't Know Me" with a shoulder-bag.

A while back I was introduced to the Fancy Pack, which is pretty much a combination of the cutest belt ever and a fanny pack.  The adorable bow has a bunch of secret little zippered pockets that are the perfect size for your phone, wallet, and camera.  It comes in a variety of colors and has an adjustable belt.  It retails for $65 but it's cool enough to deserve that money.

Fancy Pack in black faux-snakeskin

Another cute fanny pack alternative is this ruffley waist purse.  It also has the adjustable strap, and a variety of ways to wear.  Who's brave enough to try the bustle look???  I love it in brown.

Slightly cheaper at $48

Rock the bustle!

Now for the pièce de résistance, aka the reason for this post, the Julian scarf.   If those last two adorable purse alternatives are still a little too close to fanny packness, never fear.  There is still an option for you and it is this scarf.  This freaking cute scarf that comes in a variety of colors and patterns.   This scarf with two large, fully lined pockets in it!

Not to mention it is the least expensive of the three, coming in at only $32.  I'll take one in every color, please!

A Near Perfect Sunday

Today was wonderful and reminded me why I am going to miss Ohio.  I spent the afternoon with my dear friend Leslie (she's the cutie in the pink shrug), adventuring about town.  We hit up a few furniture stores in search of a sofa, but we didn't find anything worth while aside from a gold leather ottoman that left me speechless.   After that we drove around an insanely cute neighborhood called German Village where all of the porch lights were gas lamps instead of electric.  It was adorable.  And right there in the middle of this wonderful neighborhood was a hidden gem of a park.

 


Even the graffiti was adorable.

I spent the evening watching the original silent film version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1923), which is not at all like the Disney version.  However it was the perfect movie for my friend Zack and I to play MST3K.  We added our own dialogue and even learned some new words like "jackanape" and "varnel".

Another fun thing about this version of the movie is that it would be great for a drinking game.
Drink whenever:
 ~ Quasimodo flicks his tongue out like a lizard (I would refrain from taking shots when this happens as it is quite frequent)
Take shots whenever:
 ~ Phoebus flaunts Esmeralda in front of his fiancée
~ The subtitles are incomplete sentences
~ Quasimodo is being an acrobat or ringing the bell
~ Someone dies (spoiler alert)
~ You become frightened that someone is going to rape Esmeralda

Trust me when I say that you will be more than a little buzzed.

<3

Vulva Love AKA Sarah Gets A Little Creeped Out.

This is by far the strangest Etsy shop I have ever seen.

Basically, you can get a necklace custom designed after your lady-bits.   You send the artist 3 pictures of your genitals and she then sculpts you out of clay.
If this makes you uncomfortable (it should) you can opt to describe your genitals to her via e-mail.  She needs to know the following:
*The shape of your inner and outer labia
*Colors
*How much or how little your inner labia extend out from your outer labia
*How well hidden your clitoris is, is it heavily hooded or can you see it fairly easily?

If you are still uncomfortable (I know I am) you can order a generic vulva pendant.

The "Marie Antoinette" is kind of hilarious though (pictured above).


Fun fact- The artist refers to all vulvae as "she".

Getting Inspired

Since my graduation from cosmetology school a few weeks ago, I have spent an insane amount of time thinking about the kind of person I want to be.  I spend all my time on modcloth, etsy, and a few choice blogs just daydreaming.... and then it hit me that the only reason I'm not the person I want to be is because I don't put in the effort.
My dad used to say (and probably still does) that it's stupid to do the same thing and expect different results.  If I keep doing what I have always done, I will be who I have always been.  So, I am determined to change myself for the better by doing some things that I have always wanted do.

- Cook healthy meals
- Bake from scratch
- Run (this task really falls on my dear cheerleader, Robyn)
- Sew
- Play the piano again
- Learn sign language
- Keep my house ready in case of spontaneous visitors
- Wear more dresses

I'm starting a few of these now, like my healthy meals and sign language.  I am waiting until I move in a few weeks to do the rest.  I am moving back to California from Ohio and I love the symbolism of being in a "new" place to start this new chapter of my life.   I will move into my little apartment, stuff it full of my thrift store furniture, throw a little 24th birthday party and get on with my life.

While I am still in Ohio though, I thought I would whip up an Blog Inaugural Pasta Salad.  At my dad's suggestion I threw in anything I had in the kitchen that I thought would be tasty.   It ended up being pasta, Lima beans, chick peas, broccoli, Tuscan dressing and shredded Parmesan.  And it is tasty!!!

I can't wait to share it with my friends tonight.  There's just something about the cold pasta that goes so well with the disgustingly humid day.



Off topic-
I realized while I was packing today that I have entirely too much yarn for someone who no longer crochets.  I wonder if old ladies use craigslist because if they do, I think this is going to make one grandma pretty excited.